I spent some time with some folks recently to whom I know I mean a lot and similarly, mean a lot to me. And at some point, being so close, they felt comfortable telling me that they were uncomfortable with my behavior during that gathering, that I hadn't smiled enough and was being too quiet. I tried immediately to work through what was bothering me and felt significantly upset for some time thereafter for having negatively impacted their otherwise good time.

But as I thought about the incident more over the next few weeks, I reflected on the concept that we've been told from the time we are young: Just Be Yourself. So what happens if you're being yourself and it's upsetting to people? Is that your fault for being so unlikeable or mine for wanting you to be more likeable? 

I guess I should be flattered that what they were really saying was that they think of me differently than the person I was being with them and they liked that guy better. Not sure they realized...I sure do too.

But it also helped me understand that I shouldn't be upset with someone I love when they are doing something I don't like. That, I need to remind myself, is a Me Problem, as they say, not theirs. 

After all, as Maya Angelou said: When people show you who the are...believe them.