Wait, wait...there's a National Center for Fathering?!

One of my goals as a dad is to never hear any of these negatives from Emma:

5 Things Your Daughter Wants from You

The National Center for Fathering has done research and found the top five things daughters want from their fathers:
1. Daughters longed to hear their fathers communicate love and encouragement. "The best thing my dad has ever done for me is let me know he loves me." "I wish my father would say, 'I love you.'" "When my dad encourages me, I feel like I can do anything."

2. Daughters wanted their fathers to take time to strengthen their relationship. "I wish my daddy wouldn't work so much and spend more time with me." "If I could add one thing to our relationship, I would add time."

3. Daughters asked their dads to communicate with them more and give them guidance. "If we talked more truthfully, we would have a better relationship." "I wish my dad would talk to me more and give me advice." "I need more input from my dad."

4. Daughters wanted their fathers to seek to understand them. "Sometimes I feel like my father has no idea what I'm going through." "I wish my father would try and understand me."

5. Daughters wanted their fathers to trust them more. "If I could add one thing to our relationship, I would add trust." "I wish my dad would trust me more."

Oddly, I would be thrilled if Liss or Ev wanted more: love, encouragement, time, advice, understanding. I really do try to give them as much of those things as they'll tolerate, though I doubt they would think that to be true, especially in Liss' scary teenage years. I think they are content more to just tolerate me in their lives, where it feels like I can only do more bad than good for them. Doesn't stop me from trying though. To do good, that is. And do better and better, knowing there is SO much room for improvement.

If you like to watch, this site's for you

As often seems to happen in journalism, this article waits until the final line to get to the bigger point, so I'll show it here before you go and read the story, which is about an older woman who started a web page where you can pay $5 to watch people having "normal" sex, which frankly, I have surprisingly little interest in doing, watching sex, that is, not doing it (and for the record, even less interest in watching people having abnormal sex!):

“The issue I’m tackling is not porn,” she said. “It’s the complete lack of open, healthy dialogue around porn and sex.”

Now here's the article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/09/fashion/cindy-gallops-online-effort-to-promote-real-not-porn-fed-sex.html?_r=2&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120909

I like to say that the answer to the huge majority of the letters to Dear Abby is one of two pieces of advice, only one of which Abby ever gives. The one she frequently correctly gives is to recommend counseling, usually marital counseling.

The answer she rarely gives but should in so many examples, almost daily, is to people who describe a bad interaction they had or are having or are frequently having with someone. My advice: Try just sitting down with the person and talking about it. It isn't easy, but it is usually for the best.

Same here with sex. She explains how so few of the younger men she "meets" (read: as sex with)  know how to have sex in any way except from what they've learned watching porn, and I'm sure there's some truth to that. I'd submit (so to speak) however that even more of what they are doing is just from what comes naturally (pun unintentionally intended), which is to mount, pound, explode and then return to watching the game.

It is no reflection on the poor young, inexperienced male that they don't know any better. (It may, however, be a reflection of bad, or a complete lack of, advice from the boy's dad, but that's a somewhat separate issue.) What is needed is just raw, somewhat uncomfortable, but extremely fulfilling conversation with one's partner(s) about what feels good, what works, what doesn't and what to try next time.

But of course, like every single example I've ever challenged myself with, sex is definitely easier said than done. On the contrary, in a similar comparison of saying vs doing, doing it is oh-so-much-easier than talking about it.

We need to go on the offense against the defense (budget)

There was a great article in the NY times the other day by a Journalism professor of all things, explaining how the Romney/Ryan budget will impact us:

http://campaignstops.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/09/edsall-the-ryan-sinkhole/?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120910

People complain that Romney hasn't said enough about what his plan actually is, but this article is a big help, showing how he'll cut things like education, food and drug inspection, workplace safety, environmental protection and law enforcement.

But my favorite thing from this is a comment at the end of the article: "If the American Friends Service Committee is correct and I trust they are, all the combined military spending amounts to spending of $2.2 million a MINUTE and accounts for 60% of the 2013 discretionary budget. No other discretionary budget category is above 6% of the discretionary budget( Health & Human Services & Education 6% each; State 5%; Other programs 4.5%; Homeland Security 4%; Housing & Urban development 3%, Agriculture 2%; Justice, NASA and Energy, 1.5% each; Labor, Treasury, Interior, EPA, Transportation, 1% each)."

I'm not a big fan of those departments for the most part either, but each time I imagine someone going in and really streamlining them and cutting out all the waste, I think about what a relative pittance it is compared to the Defense budget. Ack!

I'll bet he's heard of Michelle Bachmann though

One minor anecdote from the recent convention: Cheryl and I were sitting at a bar the final night, eating dinner, watching MSNBC which was turned up loud enough on the 20 or so TVs that we could actually hear it over the hundred or so people is this amazing bar (Note to self: Find 10 Blocks South beer locally and drink more of it). Cheryl started up a conversation with a 20-something well-dressed black man at the table next to her, where he was sitting with a friend. They started talking politics and he mentioned how he'd like to get more involved in it when he has time. I joined in the conversation from time to time and at one point when John Lewis came on the screen we were all watching, I asked him if he knew who he is. He did not. I guess I would have been slightly surprised if he had known, but that's such a shame.

From Wikipedia: John Robert Lewis (born February 21, 1940) is the U.S. Representative for Georgia's 5th congressional district, serving since 1987 and is the dean of the Georgia congressional delegation. He was a leader in the American Civil Rights Movement, playing a key role in the struggle to end segregation.

Boop boop be doop

Yesterday I sent an email to a guy who writes a column called BoopStats for the Philadephia Daily News and specializes in surprising stats and today I came across this in the paper and on their website:

Don't Come Back, Shane

Phillies and Dodgers have both fared better without Shane Victorino this season.

Posted: Wednesday, September 12, 2012, 2:58 AM

Sometimes there are numbers that we simply can't explain (but we're sure there are more than a few BoopStats readers that will be happy to explain it to us), and this is one of them.

We've always been a big Shane Victorino fan, but winning baseball just seems to have deserted him this year.

Consider that when the Phillies or Dodgers had him on their roster this season, they are a combined 63-78 (.447). Over the time Victorino was on the other team in 2012, those clubs are a combined 82-61 (.573).

In addition, loyal reader Jamie McVickar points out that the season-long numbers put up by Phillies current centerfielder John Mayberry Jr. are not too far off from the season-long numbers put up by Victorino.

A look at both of those things:


VICTORINO vs. MAYBERRY, 2012

GP Avg. OBA Slg. HR RBI Runs

Victorino 137 .257 .321 .382 10 51 62

Mayberry 130 .254 .306 .425 14 41 45

SHANE VICTORINO'S RECORD

With Victorino Without Victorino

Through July 29 Phillies 45-57 Dodgers 56-47

Since July 30 Dodgers 18-21 Phillies 26-14

Totals
63-78 (.447)
82-61 (.573)

Here's the original link to the story, where it looks much better than it does here:

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/phillies/Dont-Come-Back-Shane0912.html?jCount=2&#comments

One guarantee - this will become my most viewed post. SO proud.

One of the features of blogger.com is that they can tell you how many people visited your site, what countries they came from and what they wrote in any given search engine to find your site.

Here are 4 of the top 5 things people typed into a search engine that resulted in their coming to my site:

huddle porn
politics sports sex
scarlett johansson military ball
scarlett johansson's head size

I think there is a lesson to be learned here to buff up my pageview count. Tomorrow I'm changing the name of my site to:

Scarlett Johansson military huddle head ball porn

But seriously, I don't know which confuses me more: what the heck "huddle porn" is or why it would lead to my site.


But this is one question I am plenty fine not knowing the answer to.

But then I probably lost most of my audience after the "balcony" post last week.

I found myself wondering this morning whether people feel shortchanged when they visit this site, since there is so much about one of the three topics - politics - that this blog professes to be about and doesn't hit on the one topic that more people might hope to be see more of.

So, recognizing that likelihood, I'll send out this quickie:

I’m trying to only think good thoughts about yesterday’s Eagles game. A great defensive effort. A great run game. But yeah, terrible QB decisions, terrible mental discipline (penalties).


They bring in Foles to start and all problems solved!

I hope you're happy now.