I love food. And I especially love food that's bad for me. Cheetos, chips, ice cream, hoagies, cheesesteaks, red meat, gravy. Yup, all of it. In fact, the worse it is for me, the more likely I'll like it. And conversely, the better it is for me, the less likely I'll like it. Except avocados. I do like them. As I've always said, vegetables are like having a job. I don't like either one, but they are a requirement for a long, healthy, happy life. Maybe that explains why, between the time I left college and the time I married Cheryl, I gained 50 or so pounds. Well, that and Cheryl's great cooking. (And also why I am loving retirement so much!)
So, after many tries, over many years, about three years ago, I finally went all in and decided enough was enough. Time to get rid of those chubby cheeks and the big ole belly. Well, at least to get rid of a lot of it.
People, having been kind enough to notice and say something about it - the best reward behind the feeling of accomplishment, the way you'll feel, and the way you look in the mirror, would then say, predictably:
"How'd you do it?!" So I thought I'd write out some of the things that worked for me. And what worked for me isn't for everyone. Others have done it through all sorts of what I consider gimmicky approaches, like The (Insert fad diet here) diet, based on some book or website that will make the author lots of money. And I say God Bless 'Em - the author and anyone who is able to not just lose the weight, but in some ways, more difficult, then keeping it off.
So...how did I do it? First some truths about losing weight:
- Any weight loss program that tells you how easy it will be is lying. It's not. It will be hard. At times, really hard. Which leads to the single most important requirement for losing weight...
- You need an excess of Determination. You have to really want it and really commit to it, not like I did a hundred times just after finishing a big meal or on the way back from vacation, but non-stop throughout the process.
- Losing weight makes you look older...and feel younger!
- It is a process and it will take days, then weeks, then months and then to some degree, for the rest of your life. There is a reason we got to the weight we are. We like to eat...but probably only to excess. That can't happen on a regular basis anymore.
- Exercising is helpful but for most of us, it is the most minor factor in the process of losing weight. The best reason to stay active isn't to lose weight, it's to keep the joints and ligaments and cartilage stretched out and our bodies healthy in general.
Now, how it worked for me, to lose almost 40 pounds over a span of a year or two:
The name of my not-so-secret, not-so-radical plan is:
The AHATT Plan
Always Hungry All The Time
And of course, after the first few weeks, that ever-present hunger will slowly diminish, as you convince your body through determination, deprivation and re-direction that you have permanently changed your nutritional lifestyle.
You will be hungry. Often. Frequently. Sometimes it will feel like constantly. But the way I was able to get through it was to imagine that whenever I was really hungry, and particularly when my stomach growled, it was my body, and my stomach in particular, chewing away at the fat that had built up inside me. That hunger was a good thing - a great thing! Crave it. Enjoy it. Revel in it. It is working! You are winning.
Now more specifically, the approach that worked for me is what I call
No Sweets
No Snacks
No Seconds
Eat three meals a day. Eat what you want, as long as there are veggies involved, at least at dinner in some way. Eat good-sized portions if you want. Get that cheesesteak or hoagie, though you don't want to eat the whole thing. Eat half of it. Or better, a quarter of it along with a bowl full of your favorite vegetables. But then that's it. Don't have seconds of anything (except the veggies). Don't finish your kid's plate off. Just stop eating.
So, no sweets - that said, I keep a little stash of chocolate that I'll hit once a day for even just a square of chocolate. But not at some specific, repeating time because then your brain is getting trained to always expect it then. You are creating new habits with this new eating lifestyle change. Re-orienting and re-wiring your brain to be satisfied with eating three meals a day without snacking between those three meals.
And no snacks - if I am really hungry, I'll eat a piece of fruit. A banana, an apple, an orange. But even those should be limited. Given their fructose content, they can work against your goals if you overdo it.
And yes, do weigh yourself every single day. I taped a piece of graph paper near the scale where I marked my starting weight in the upper left hand corner and then marked my progress every day. It was such a reward every day to look back at where I'd been and the progress I'd made as the line dropped down and down as I went further to the right.
There are other things that will help of course, but you've heard all these things:
- Fewer carbs.
- Don't put cheese on anything unless the meal would be ruined without it.
- Don't grocery shop when you're hungry.
- Take the skin off the chicken, cut the fat off the meat. try not to put butter on your veggies.
- If you're having bread in any form, whether it be in a sandwich, as toast, with eggs, try it without any butter or mayo. I put a piece of toast under my scrambly eggs and have stopped using any butter at all on the toast and don't miss it a little bit.
- Avoid greasy and processed, pre-made foods, like lunch meat, fries, chips ESPECIALLY! Don't even let it in the house!
This is kind of a weird suggestion, but avoid mindless eating. You can take it to an extreme and practice mindfulness, where you stop and appreciate every bite you take, and that would be awesome...and ok, a little annoying, but easier is to just avoid distractions while you eat. Worst is to put a bag of something next to you - chips, popcorn, pretzels, hummus, anything that helps fill your belly - and chomp away as you're watching TV or on your phone or computer. I don't even like having a conversation with anyone while I eat because suddenly, the meal is over and I feel like I missed it! Unless it is a sit-down at the table family-type meal. Then it's a whole event, which makes me appreciate it all the more.
Or, if you start to feel hungry between meals, stop doing whatever it is you're doing. Go outside and do some yardwork, go shopping, call a friend, start a new project you've been putting off. Give your brain something different to think about.
So if you can commit to all those approaches, you will see some dramatic drops in your weight and quickly. AND, you will also hit some plateaus, where you are being really good and not seeing any progress. Or maybe even gain a pound or two. But that's okay - it'll only last a day or three and it'll just make the next drop all the more dramatic.
And lastly, one fun thing. Once a week, feel free to go off your new approach. Go to a party and pig out. Have a piece of someone's birthday cake and some ice cream. Order the fries or the tater tots and get a big steak or the cheesy pasta. And enjoy it. Without guilt. That makes the diet more fun and it has the side benefit of re-speeding up your metabolism and fooling your bod into thinking Oh Yay - we're eating great gobs of big gross food again! The downside is - the next few days are going to be even more painful all over again. Your belly will growl, your brain will crave junk. But again - Determination! A growling tummy = fat being scraped off your belly walls!
And here's one last secret - reward yourself! Pick your number - after you lose each 5 pounds, or 10, whatever you want. And give yourself a (non-food related) reward. Buy yourself a new dress or start a new book or do something/anything else that brings you pleasure. Or the opposite approach - deny yourself something until you reach those goals. Maybe you can't watch a new show or movie until you get there.
Or if you have a partner, see if they will buy in. Ask them for a reward when (not if!) you get there. Or ask them to deny you something (ahem) until you get there. And of course, they don't have to suffer in the process. They don't need to be denied anything, if you catch my drift. And of course, they can be really REALLY important in the entire program by supporting your lifestyle change, whether just by encouraging you, or by occasionally reminding you to do the right thing, as you are tempted to reach for seconds, or nibble at something you shouldn't be - No nibbling! Three meals only. But as I've hinted, your partner can help with the sexy rewards as you reach certain goals.
So, lastly, since I partially blamed Cheryl for my having put on some of the weight with her awesome cooking, let me now say that there is absolutely no way I could have accomplished all this without her support and assistance...and rewards! So thanks for your help in my reaching my goals, Cheryl!
So, now, get 'er done! And feel free to comment below how things are going for you, or whether you have any tricks to share that have worked for you. Good luck everyone!
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