My third of 3 stories about the people Cheryl and I met in
our last 24 hours in Providence is maybe the least interesting to me, at least
in the long-term, though he was certainly the most entertaining. If I were to
write a transcript of the entire conversation I had with this very Italian-American
gentleman, you probably would think I was either making it up or was furthering
stereotypes that have been promoted through the years regarding people of his
heritage.
I met him our last morning, as we waited in line, again,
this time for about 45 minutes for an amazing breakfast in a restaurant that
was about half the size of the room you’re sitting in right now. (Yeah, that’s
right – I can see you from where I sit…and you look good!). It only had 4
tables, 2 of which sat two people, the other two sat no more than 4.
As we waited outside the building (semi-needless to say, but
I will anyway, there was no room to wait inside), I saw a few chairs sitting out
front of the real estate office next to our restaurant. After about 5 minutes
of my sitting there, the owner of the real estate company came out to sit with
me. Over the next half hour, I again pretty much got his whole life story, how
he was the youngest of eight kids and had spent the last 34 years in business with
his father. “I must be doin’ something right, right?! I’m the chosen one!”
(And I should pause here to make sure you understand that as
you read each of his quotes, to use your mind’s thickest New York City Italian
accent. Let’s limber up a little. Say “Fuhgetaboutit!” Nah, you gotta hit it
heavier, really let the accent drip “FUHgetABOUTIT!” Or maybe that should be “fuhGETaboutit!”
OK, I think you’re there. And make sure to bob your head and swirl your hands,
touching the person next to you on the arm constantly as you talk. Right – I can
see there is no one sitting next to you, so just pretend. Now go back and read
that last quote again. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Good – you
got it now.)
So anyway, he and his dad had started in the car business
together. I apologize for admitting that when I heard that, I envisioned chop
shops and car insurance scams. Now they are apparently fairly successful real
estaters, though as he pointed at each of the properties in sight that they had
bought, I wondered how long they would have to wait for the neighborhood to
come back for them to make any kind of profit unless they’d acquired the land
for free.
So here are my three favorite things he told me during his
rambling verbal autobiography:
1 – “When we got started in this business, (are your hands
moving? Is your accent a-drip?), I had what ya call a confidence problem, can
ya imagine? So I asked this buddy of mine, OK, he was my therapist, if I could
take the class he was teaching - a psychology class, and he said “David – what you
wanna take that for? But he let me, so it was the last day of the class and
when I walked in, he picked me out of everyone and said ‘David – your assignment
for today is to spend class writing whatever you’re thinking about right now.’
So I says, OK, but I got one request – can I step outside for a minute, and he
said ‘Sure” so I walked back out the door, went all the way down the steps to
the street and walked back up and when I walked in, he said ‘Yo, David, what
was that about?!’ and I says ‘I had to go out and count the steps I had to take
to walk from the street up to this classroom – it was 122 steps and they were
the most important 122 steps I ever took in my life!’ And I been fine ever
since.”
2 – “I got two daughters just got engaged this summer. I
know, everyone says the same thing: ‘Is that ever gonna be expensive!’ but that’s
not how I’m lookin’ at it. I figure it’s great that I can help ‘em. And they’re
marrying two great guys, two bulls! And by that I mean, big guys, big Italian
fellas. Now I know – we’re all one, but I been tellin’ ‘em since they were
little, and (interrupting himself) they’d always say, ‘Dad – why don’t you just
come out and say it – you want us to marry Italian boys!’ and I’d say ‘Yeah, I guess
that’s true’. But the way I figure it, I know we’re all one and everything, but
I figure it’s all about the food and the heritage and the…well, actually it’s
just all about the food! (and he wasn’t laughing – he was totally serious.)
3 – Believe it or not, my favorite thing he said, apropos of
nothing – totally, at least through my waspy filter, unrelated to whatever
stage he happened to be on in his life story, in the middle of his story he
threw in a…wait for it…:
Fuhgetaboutit!
But I can’t, and hope I never will.
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