A recent widely-shared (among my family and ya-yo friends) article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution dealt with examples of the misogyny rampant in today's world, and it brought out an initial reaction from me to Cheryl for which I apologized later, when she asked if I had read it:
"You mean the article on how Men Suck?"
Hey - I said I apologized for it! I am not proud to observe that I am far more sympathetic to and interested in battling racism than I am misogyny.
I know far more women who outwardly and/or admittedly hate men than vice versa.
But...I would also say that I know far more men who don't respect women, than vice versa. And I think the issue of misandry and misogyny could/should be kept separate.
As for the article itself, I didn't learn anything from it. Her points have been made repeatedly so I was surprised and disappointed that the author wasn't able to add anything new to the dialogue. That said, there is always value in continuing to give energy, publicity and power to the push back.
The issue and belief I have, in Jamie World, that I've never heard anyone else spew, is the undervalued and underused power of femininity. But that is so at odds with the feminist mindset, I believe it's hard for most to really try to explore it intellectually.
Since our society has always equated femininity (which is THE worst word to try to say when you've had a beer or three) with weakness, it's a challenge to think of it any other way. And as I have probably said in this blog somewhere else, I find women to be superior to men in every way except physical attributes. Wait, that doesn't sound right - I way prefer women's physical attributes! I'm talking about the kinds of things measured in, say, the Olympics. ("The Olympics!") And I think when it comes to the power of women, it's like Glinda telling Dorothy that she had the power all along. Someday, women may not only realize their powers, they will use them. And because women are kinder, more giving, more thoughtful and smarter, and better at playing and working well with others, not to mention easier to dance with, I suspect they'll use that power for good, not the way we men too often have used our strength/s.
"Someday, women may not only realize their powers, they will use them." Women already realize, and use, their powers. The fact that you don't know this validates the point the author is making on its own, but I'll continue.
ReplyDeleteYour message contradicts itself. You say you believe women are smarter than men, yet you flippantly disregard the merits of the writer's article, and the fact that your wife, sister, and niece all found it powerful and spot-on. You were "disappointed that the author wasn't able to add anything new to the dialogue." How can that be, when she detailed her own personal experiences of experiencing misogyny? Each time a woman does that, it adds something new to the conversation, and we will have to continue doing that until it ends.
You say the issue of misandry and misogyny should be kept separate, directly after comparing which gender admittedly hates (admittedly being the keyword) or disrespects the other more. I don't know one woman who declares to hate all men, and this professor's article wasn't about hating men. It was a response to men who display misogynistic behaviors, such as the one began his essay: "Madame First Lady—Mrs. Biden—Jill—kiddo: a bit of advice on what may seem like a small but I think is a not unimportant matter. Any chance you might drop the “Dr.” before your name? “Dr. Jill Biden” sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic." He then dissed the title of her dissertation, before quoting a "wise man" and continuing on his condescending rant. You made no comment on the point/purpose of the author's article, you only commented on what you presumed to be her flaw.
You can not truly understand how enraging it all is, to no innate fault of your own. I am not able to exactly understand the plight of others who aren't my demographic, but what I can do is believe them when they say that something is important or accurate to their lived experience. I can empathize and trust that they know better than me on this subject - not because they're superior, but because they are in the unfortunate position of not being able to not know.
Great input, Becca, thanks! I disagree with most of it, but it gives many important perspectives, even when I don't understand some/many of your conclusions. In fact your posts gives far more new thoughts than the original article itself! The original column is as powerful as the dozens of others that said the exact same thing. But maybe the other people you mention didn't see the ones I had already read. And as I said, that only speaks to the value of it being written again. Thanks for giving me more to chew on with your comments though.
ReplyDelete