And of course it goes without saying that the more we do of #4, the more we'll get of #5

Seems to me women want men to be as complex as they (women) are, so that there is something, some mysterious key to “figuring us out” and women are continually surprised and disappointed that we’re as simple as we are.

1 - Food
2 - Football
3 - Fucking
4 - Farting

(and yeah, probably in that order once we're married. #3 was probably higher before we got married.)

Once women get that, they’ve got 90% of us. Oh, wait, those 4 and:

5 - The need for space…lots of space.


And we men want women to be as simple as we men are and we are continually surprised and disappointed that they’re as complex as they are.

And believe me, I'm not even a little bit proud of any of that from my perspective.