(See post below, first.) On the other
hand, I think I will write a little more about the impact of the election on me
and the people I love. The other, currently inaccessible, entry has more to do
with political wonky stuff. This one has to do more with my psyche.
The morning after
the election was a dark day: for me, for all 4-6 kids, for my friends. I’m not
including Cheryl here because she was already upset even before the election.
She was so unnerved by politics in general, and I believe the Presidential race in
particular, and what politics was doing to her, that she didn’t even watch the election returns. This from a
delegate to the Democratic Convention just 4 years earlier. She was depressed
about the election many months before the rest of us came to be.
But as dark
a day as it was, I found it to be the perfect time to re-order my priorities.
This is part of what I wrote on my Facebook page the next day, part of a much
longer post that is what the other post-election blog entry will consist of: “So
it’s back to basics. Back to connecting with each other. Back to making people
feel validated in their life’s choices. Back to volunteering to help those who
need it, from the old widow down the street who needs the leaves raked in her
yard to helping feed people who have less than us, to, well whatever might be
one’s passion. What drives you? How can I help? How can I help my kids help?
What can I do to put a smile on someone’s face?
"I find
myself feeling like I did when I came back from the Pine Ridge Indian
Reservation in South Dakota a few months back. A need to re-focus on all that
is good and most important. Re-prioritizing. So I learned that then…and
apparently needed to be taught it again last night. I get it, God. No need to
keep finding ways to beat it into me! I’m good. Thanks, though!”
And so since
I wrote that, almost 4 weeks ago, how am I holding to it? I see it as a strong
challenge to my Quaker beliefs – am I still able to see that of God in
everyone, even supporters/voters/enablers of someone to run the world who has
said and done the terrible things DT has? I need to, I have to, and so far I have.I want to walk ever more peacefully upon this earth, with my family, with my friends, but in some ways even more importantly, with people I don’t know and may well never see or interact with again – the receptionist at the doctor’s office, the driver who cut me off, the person who posts something demeaning on Facebook.
And how can
it be more important that I treat people I don’t know, as or more kindly than
my family and friends? Because my F & Fs are already wonderful, loving,
FORGIVING (of me) people. It is the people we don’t know who we need to set a
higher standard for, both in how we deal with them but also in our expectations
of them. I need to do my best to bring the best out of them. That means driving more slowly, though
certainly not too slowly! It means not just thanking someone for something, but
taking an extra two seconds to throw them a smile – a smile that lasts past
that fleeting second that goes with the thank you.
This actually
happened with me a few days back, at the aforementioned doctor’s office. After I
finished checking out – paying, getting a printout for bloodwork – I thanked
the woman behind the counter, smiled, and just held it for an extra moment,
while looking carefully into her eyes. And even though I’m quite certain that
if that woman came up and sat next to me this very moment, I’d have no idea who
she was, for that brief moment, I felt like I had a significant, kind human
interaction with her. I don’t know if it had any impact on her day, but the
return of her smile certainly made mine.
And that’s
what I expect of me going forward. Not to dwell in the ugly negativity it would
be so easy to slather myself with in the face of what happened November 8th.
But to use it as the proverbial wake-up call, challenging and changing my previous
perspective, making the world a better, more positive, kinder, more loving
place.
As clearly
as it seems that 2016 has been one of our worst ever. I want the lessons I’ve
learned, starting with Pine Ridge and continuing through the election results, to
make 2016 the best year ever.