Oh, what a lucky man

I wrote this a few weeks ago but didn't want to post it until I let some time go by so I could think about it some more and to see if my feelings would change. Spoiler alert - they didn't:

21 years ago almost to the day, in August of 1998, Cheryl moved in to my house in Thorndale with her two awesome daughters, Elissa, age 12 and Evelyn, age 5.  And on that day, my life would change forever. My bachelorhood ended and my life as I always imagined and fervently hoped it would become, began.

Two years later, Trevor was born, and at some point, I remember telling Cheryl that coming home from work each day, and opening the door to that house, felt like Dorothy opening her door to Munchkinland, not because of the size of the inhabitants, and not because of the gingham dress and sparkly ruby slippers I was usually wearing, but because I was moving from my very satisfying, if often uneventful, dare I say dull, life of black and white, into a world of color, imagination, surprises, entertainment...and unconditional love, given and received.

Eventually that crazy world grew to include Alex and Ammar and even for 5 years, my mom, accompanied by her sticky dementia and her even stronger unconditional love for all of us.

This morning and continuing to next Monday, when we drop Alex off to board at Westtown, ended the best 21 years of my life, certainly so far. Not because it won't still be amazing in an entirely new way, as I get to know Cheryl better than I ever have, as we have both been so looking forward to this time for, well, 21 years, but because my favorite word in the entire English language is...Dad.

It was so rough when Liss was the first to go, shortly after Ammar came into our lives. Then a year later Mom passed away. Then Evie left a few years after that and that was hard too, missing her energy, humor and joy. So it's been an ongoing adjustment, missing those lives I so loved being a part of each day. But now, with the house soon to be totally empty of kids, it feels like the drop-off to Penn State and Westtown is more like our drop-off into a crevice.

The house will feel emptier. The memories and the love will bounce and echo off the walls, and I will make a point of remembering to absorb all of it for all my days to come.

...and loving it.

Now...on to enjoy Cheryl like I never have before. It's not a comparison of a house full versus just the two of us. It's two truly amazing life experiences. We have so many things we feel like we can do together now that we haven't been able to fully before. We even have a list.

Who is the luckiest guy ever? That's right. This guy.