Nothing on TV or in the movies is true...except all these things

After watching more (non-sports) television in the past few years, beginning with the start of the pandemic (it’s still weird to write those words – we really did just go through a freaking pandemic. Heck, we still are, for that matter. In fact, I feel like I’ve heard of more people coming down with covid in the past month than pretty much the first 2 years combined, but since people aren’t dying of it, it seems less present.) 

Where were we/I, ah right – television, which includes movies, I’ve been keeping a mental list of things I’ve noticed about TV life that isn’t generally reflected in real life. OK, it’s not just a mental list – I wrote some of these down too. OK, I wrote all of them down just so I wouldn't fergit.

Things people do way more on TV and in the movies than in real life:

- Cry and have sex. Usually not at the same time.

- Meet for the first time and have sex within the first hour or less of meeting. And it’s almost always intense. And over with very quickly. Especially in the first episode of a series.

- Hang up the phone without saying goodbye. Every once in a rare while, one person will say bye, but the other never will.

- Tell lies…and never, ever get away with them. The person they are trying to keep the secret from will always find out. 100% of the time.

- Have friendships with people of different races than theirs. No white people on TV only have white friends.

- Have difficult relationships with the parent of the same gender, especially moms and daughters. One almost never sees supportive, loving relationships between mom and daughters.

- Have affairs. Or have solid relationships with their spouse.

- Have wet city streets at night.

- Have way more complicated lives.

Other observations:

- Anytime someone says “But let me explain!” when they are trying to set someone straight about a misunderstanding, will never get that chance to explain, even though we as the viewer always know that if they did, all would be forgiven…as it eventually will be when the other person finally does find out what happened, which they always will.

- There are no more shows or movies without gay characters or people of different races. In other words, Friends would never have a cast like that today. Or Seinfeld. Or MASH. Of 99% of shows before about 2015ish.

- Any prediction by a character of what is sure to happen will never happen.

- There are very few honest cops or politicians. But then…

And lastly, almost any time someone speaks to another character by name, they will almost always pause slightly before saying their name, at least more so than we do when saying names. My theory is that the actors are so glad to remember their line, and want to be so sure not to use the actor’s real name, they pause almost imperceptibly before saying their character’s name. I tell ya, it happens again and again, to the point, once you start noticing it, you’ll see that it becomes unusual that someone doesn’t do it.

What did I miss?