But no, seriously, what do you think of me now!?

So now, back to the topic of validation. I recently decided that I don’t want any more. And it is one of the most freeing exciting energizing decisions I’ve ever made. Like breaking up with a bad girlfriend. (Or so I hear. I’ve never had one. A bad one, that is. I’ve had girlfriends. Seriously.)

I reluctantly confess here in electronic print, for the ages, that I used to, at worst, want, and maybe even seek validation. Plaudits, approval, any form of positive reactions to, well, me. My humor, my appearance, my verbal contributions, my blog entries, my observations, my possessions, my wife, my family, my fantasy baseball team. 

And I just don’t anymore.

It was a conscious decision, a flick of the internal light switch, to just no longer care whether people told me I had done a nice thing or was wonderful or smart or witty. Okay, I admit that it will still get me all a-twitter when someone actually does say something nice to me or laughs at something I say. It just that I no longer seek it or, more importantly, no longer am hurt if I don’t receive the bon mots I thought I deserved. (And don’t bon mots just Sound delicious!)

And as simple as it sounds…yeah, it actually has been just that simple. Though there have been times where I’ve had to remind myself that I don’t care if someone doesn’t notice that I was the one who had that brilliant new idea or observation first. Or notices that I did some unexpected chore, or heck, even an expected one (I am a male after all) around the house or did something nice for someone. And when I do remind myself, I feel the joy all over again of not even caring.

Part of it too is that it means that I simply accept me as I am. I don’t need external approval. I only need to be happy with myself and what kind of person I am. Doesn’t mean I think I never do, or more likely say, anything wrong or hurtful, or don’t have things I can be better about. In fact, one of the things I like about myself, or anyone, is a desire to keep trying to work on one’s shortcomings, but also accepting that we are human and none of us is perfect. It is all so incredibly freeing. And yeah yeah, more than a tad embarrassing that it was ever so important to me in the first place.