The big story here? Finally a worthwhile contribution from NASA!

News Item:
Kennedy Space Center, Florida -- The push is on to launch Space Shuttle Atlantis one more time, adding another mission before all of NASA's shuttles are retired.

My suggestion...have it land directly over the BP Oil Leak, sink it, and presto - two problems solved at once: A place to retire the shuttle and the leak is plugged.

If that doesn't work? Mix all the leftover Tang from the 60's with some concrete and fill it up with that. (The leak, not the space shuttle.) You know there's a warehouse full of the stuff somewhere.