This is going to go over like a lead rug, as my sister Laurie once said (when she was about 12, I think, in other words, about 15 years ago), but I finally reached the conclusion that where men are thought to only think about one thing - sex - and I don't think that's at all fair - we care about a lot more than that, but generally you can break it down, as my wife does, to Food, Football, F*king and Farting. Where was I? Oh yeah, the main thing women want is to be desired.
I was hesitant to post that simplistic conclusion, until I read an email from a group called All Pro Dad. I joined their email list a year or so ago and I like a lot of what they say, even though there seems to be a fairly religious tone to many of their suggestions on how to be a better Dad, which is their general raison d'etre.
Their email today was entitled: "Are you Meeting your Wife's Deepest Need?
"In the book Captivating, author Stasi Eldredge writes about a woman's deepest need: "Little girls want to know, Am I lovely? The twirling skirts, the dress up, the longing to be pretty and to be seen-that is what that's all about. They are seeking an answer to their question. When I was a girl of maybe five years old, I remember standing on top of the coffee table in my grandparents' living room and singing my heart out. I wanted to capture attention-especially my father's attention. I wanted to be captivating. We all did. But for most of us, the answer to our question when we were young was 'No, there is nothing captivating about you. Get off the coffee table!'"
"Nearly all a woman does in her adult life is fueled by her longing to be delighted in, her longing to be beautiful, to be irreplaceable, to have her question answered, 'Yes! You are lovely.' And down in the depths of our hearts, our question remains. Unanswered. 'Am I lovely? Do you see me? Do you want to see me? Are you captivated by what you find in me?' We live haunted by that question."
Truth be told, most of our wives want to know that they are lovely... that they captivate their husbands."
Notice it doesn't say that's all she wants, just that she wants to know it.
So...staying away from the political arguments herein, let me state for the record: Cheryl - I STILL think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and have ever since I first laid eyes on you.