I have two 50th high school reunions coming up in the next few months and for the one at Westtown, we were asked to write up a page or two summary of key life events of our last 50 years as well as what brings us joy. I put it off a week or two past the deadline for getting it published in the mailing, partially because I kept coming back and editing and adding to it (which I've continued to do here as I remember more things), and partially because I procrastinate. It's what I do. Now that it's finished, I thought I'd post it here as well, if only since it will be helpful for whomever gets to write my obituary someday.
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Wow. I know
we’re all wondering the same things:
- Where did
the time go?
- How did I
get here?
- Where is
that large automobile?
- This is
not my beautiful wife!
And yet no
matter how much we, and the world, have changed, things are the Same as it ever was.
(Fun fact:
David Byrne’s sister lived on my hall at Earlham my junior year and she drew a
beautiful portrait of me for her senior project that she gave to me and that I
still have.)
Funny how
similar my approach to writing this essay has paralleled my approach to such
assignments at Westtown: total procrastination (again - same as it ever was).
The
questions for our assignment – Key events in our lives in the past 50 years to
shape who we are today and what brings us joy.
The answer
to both questions for me, as any (most) of you who have met her will
understand, is my wife Cheryl. Not just because she has brought so many cool
kids into my life, but because of how amazing a person she is and how much I’ve
learned from her over the past 26 years. But since most of them are of an
intangible nature, I’ll save that for an in-person discussion for anyone
interested, but most all of it falls in the category of: Choose Love.
My key life
events since graduation in June, 1974:
- 4 years at Earlham, graduating early with a
Psych degree, writing my 56-page, painfully-typed, senior thesis on Freud’s
theory of the Death Instinct
- Still living in the same place where we held the 30th reunion AND same place I lived when we were all at Westtown
- Started a career in social work, working
with mentally disadvantaged adults until I realized there was little future in
it unless I wanted to go to grad school, which I certainly did not
- Took night accounting classes, leading to a
40-year career as a controller/comptroller/business manager for small, mostly
not-for-profit organizations
- Solo-bicycled 4871 miles cross country the
summer of 1982 from San Francisco down to San Diego over to Oklahoma City to up
to Chicago and Detroit to Toronto to Vermont and finally, the last day, to
Atlantic City after a ride around the field of Veteran’s Stadium before a
Sunday afternoon Phillies-Astros game (and was later invited by T. Tony Cassen
to do an assembly at Westtown to talk about it)
- Worked 21
years as the statistician for, and, for a few years, studio producer of, the
Phila Flyers telecasts – a dream job for me at the time (though now I barely
follow the sport at all), frequently running into Barry Hogenauer, Brad Strode,
Mile Titone, Pat Comerford and Tim Cronister who were all in somewhat of the
same profession – helping with sports telecasts
- Been to 15
countries; 48 of the 50 states; 25 major league baseball stadiums…ok, stadia; 12 NHL/WHA hockey arenas;
4 NFL stadiums/a; and 3 NBA arenas; 1 Super Bowl, countless NBA and NHL and MLB
playoff games including the one where the Phillies won their first World
Series, though I don’t have a ticket to prove it because I had to bribe a guard
to get in
- Have eaten
french fries in France, hominy grits in Hominy, Oklahoma, saw Frank Sinatra
sing Chicago in…Chicago, went to Live Aid, and have seen Springsteen in concert
many, many times, including my first time which was on my 24th
birthday, and more significantly, the day after John Lennon was shot
- Have had interactions and/or conversations,
some brief, some extended, with Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, James Carville,
Andrea Mitchell, Keith Olbermann, David Brooks, Mike Schmidt, Bobby Clarke
(along with most of the Flyers’ Broad Street Bullies, mostly from playing on their
Alumni softball team), Cory Booker, Dereck Lively, Livingston Taylor, Julius Erving, Bob Uecker, Chuck Barris, Dave Barry, Gordie Howe, Meg Ryan (at Westtown!), Carol Alt, Cate
Blanchett, Tony Lake, Chuck Barris, Josh Shapiro, and Bobby Orr
- Very
involved in local politics, helping turn Chester County from deep red to having
Dems elected pretty much across the board (Spoiler: it wasn’t just me) and
serving occasionally as a Dem Committee Person and presently as an elected
township auditor
- Married
Cheryl in July, 2001, in Acadia National Park, bringing two amazing daughters –
Elissa and Evelyn – with her into my life. And since then, Liss and her partner
Eduardo, whom she met while both working on the Obama campaign in Florida, have
brought two more amazing kids into our lives – Athena and Atticus, as Ev has
also brought her awesome husband Brian to us.
- Have a
blog full of random observations: https://jmcvickar.blogspot.com/
- Cheryl and
I then had two more children – Trevor and Alex (Westtown, class of 2022). Trev,
now engaged to the ever-cool Taylor, majored in Film at Penn State and is
hoping for a career in that industry. Alex is their second year at Hampshire
College.
- Hosted a 17-year-old,
Ammar, from Baghdad in 2007, theoretically for 1 year, but with the help of
many people, including two teachers at Westtown – John McKinstry (Beppy’s
brother) and Karen Gallagher, he stayed past the date he had told the US State
Department he would leave. After a year at the local public school, John and
Karen got him into Westtown for his senior year, graduating in 2009. He is now
a board-certified doctor (our son, the doctor!), is married to Janet, an
amazing woman from Bangladesh. As of earlier this year, they have a beautiful son
named Luka.
- Ammar’s
brother Human and their parents, Ebtesam and Jaffar are now here too, headed
for citizenship as well. They are an indescribably wonderful family.
- An active
member of Downingtown Friends meeting for all of my 67 years, serving on
Pastoral Care, Finance, Nominating, as Treasurer, and I don’t even remember
what all.
- Served on
the Board, eventually as President, at West Chester Friends School
- Chaperoned
two groups of Quaker teens to Russia (trips in 1990 and 1991) and Pine Ridge
Native American Indian reservation (2019ish?)
- (for those
still reading…) Was fired in 2019 from my last job as Controller after 18
years, when my bosses found out that I had forwarded incriminating evidence
regarding a certain former President to the New York Attorney General and the
Washington Post.
- More or
less retired soon thereafter, though I’m now substitute teaching at the local
public school 2-3 times a week and am enjoying it so much, I find myself
occasionally wondering if I could start my career path all over again!
- Still
playing 60-90 minute pickup soccer games 3 times a week, where in two of the
weekly games, I am the oldest player. It doesn’t always show!
I think
that’s a complete enough list of my life’s key events. Things that bring me
joy? Family, for sure, both birth and with Cheryl, including my extended
family. My close friends of many decades, including Mike, Jim, Dave, Martin, Dennis (RIP) and so many others, particularly through Downingtown Friends Meeting. Politics has replaced sports as my passion, though baseball still
brings me great joy. Being retired has certainly been one of the greatest joys
of my life. I recommend it highly!
I am so
grateful for my Westtown experience and in some ways even more so, getting to
know so many of you way better and more than I did in our, in my case, three
years of living together. You are a
special bunch. I’m sure you were then too, and I regret not trying to get to
know you better back then.
There!
Assignment complete…a few days late.
Same as it ever was.
